“SA!pocalyse” is a satirical blog unafraid to mock South African politics and current events, offering a witty and irreverent take on the absurdities of the nation’s landscape.

Ah, Johannesburg—where the streets run red, not with revolution, but with EFF berets and enough slogans to power a failing Eskom generator. Julius Malema and his loyal brigade of red-shirts descended on the Constitutional Court on Tuesday, proving yet again that the EFF may be down in the polls but certainly not out of material…

Ah, the Democratic Alliance (DA). The party that stands as a bastion of clean governance, meritocracy, and of course, the kind of moral high ground that requires oxygen masks at the top. So, what happens when the leader of this moral mountain, John Steenhuisen, appoints Roman Cabanac, a podcaster with all the tact of a…

Ah, South Africa. The land of perpetual optimism, where every problem can be fixed with a solution more absurd than the last. Our latest episodes in the never-ending series of “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” come courtesy of Joburg’s revolving door of mayors and the new electricity laws that promise to make municipalities about…

Ah, Floyd Shivambu, the political chameleon of our time. One day he’s whipping EFF MPs into shape, the next he’s hopping on the MK train, presumably because they offered a more generous frequent flyer program. This is like watching a soap opera where the villain just changes his costume but not his methods—always scheming, always…

Jacob Zuma: the man, the myth, the living embodiment of “Well, that could have gone better.” It took the ANC approximately seven months after the MK Party sprang into existence for the ruling party to finally kick Zuma to the curb. And not just any curb – a curb lovingly crafted from the finest political…

In a jaw-dropping plot twist worthy of a soap opera cliffhanger, the National Assembly has decided to elect impeached judge John Hlophe to the Judicial Service Commission (JSC). This decision has sparked outrage, with civil society organizations and political parties condemning the move faster than you can say “Nkandla.” The DA, never one to miss…

In a country where corporate boardrooms often resemble a Game of Thrones episode, with less murder but more tax evasion, it turns out that even the titans of industry can’t resist the allure of a good ol’ political bake sale. Yes, folks, South Africa’s wealthiest families have been dishing out millions like they’re Oprah handing…

Ah, Helen Zille, the political equivalent of a recurring rash – always there when you least need her and nearly impossible to ignore. This week, she’s back in the spotlight, reminding us all why she’s the DA’s favorite mouthpiece for saying a lot while accomplishing very little. Zille’s latest grandstanding comes after yet another round…

Benchmark yield at 9.9% on cabinet news – because who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned yield drop? Ah, the Johannesburg Stock Exchange (JSE). That magical place where the rich get richer and the rest of us are left wondering if we should have invested in that obscure cryptocurrency our cousin mentioned at last year’s braai.…