Jacob Zuma: the man, the myth, the living embodiment of “Well, that could have gone better.”
It took the ANC approximately seven months after the MK Party sprang into existence for the ruling party to finally kick Zuma to the curb. And not just any curb – a curb lovingly crafted from the finest political futility and delayed action. In a plot twist worthy of a soap opera, a leaked document revealed that the ANC’s disciplinary committee had found Zuma guilty of, get this, “prejudicing the integrity or repute of the organisation.” Because nothing says “we’re serious about discipline” like waiting until your former leader’s new party has made headlines.
Why the delay? Maybe the ANC thought keeping Zuma around was a clever strategy. Like having a bad smell in the room to distract from your mediocre cooking. Maybe they figured his continued presence would be a political shield or a cautionary tale. Or perhaps they just hoped his penchant for melodrama would be useful on the campaign trail. Who needs stability when you’ve got a headline-generating ex-president?
Let’s not forget, the ANC’s relationship with Zuma has always been the political equivalent of a toxic relationship where you keep making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior. They stood by him through Nkandla, the state capture saga, and even his spectacularly disrespectful dance-off with the Constitutional Court. President Cyril Ramaphosa even went so far as to remit Zuma’s 15-month sentence on the very day he was supposed to return to prison – talk about a “get out of jail free” card.
Now, with the disciplinary process moving at the speed of molasses in January and the findings leaked to the media like a plot twist in a bad movie, Zuma’s victimhood tour is sure to take center stage again. Because if there’s one thing Zuma knows how to do, it’s turning a scandal into a self-pitying spectacle.
Still, as we roll our eyes and brace ourselves for the next round of Zuma’s theatrics, let’s take a moment to appreciate this tiny step towards accountability. Even if it’s a step that’s been delayed longer than your last overdue library book.
So here’s to the ANC: a party that’s finally done the right thing – just, you know, several seasons too late.
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