Ah, the Democratic Alliance (DA). The party that stands as a bastion of clean governance, meritocracy, and of course, the kind of moral high ground that requires oxygen masks at the top. So, what happens when the leader of this moral mountain, John Steenhuisen, appoints Roman Cabanac, a podcaster with all the tact of a bull in an Apartheid-era china shop, as his chief of staff? You get what can only be described as the DA’s version of cadre deployment—just with more hashtags and fewer liberation credentials.
Let’s break this down. Cabanac, a man whose greatest contribution to South African discourse includes race-baiting tweets and the intellectual equivalent of shouting into a void, now finds himself managing the inner workings of the Agriculture Ministry. Yes, because nothing says “we are different from the ANC” quite like appointing someone whose idea of public service seems to be hurling insults at anyone who disagrees with him online.
Remember when the DA stood for something? Oh, those were the days. When they were the party of Nelson Mandela’s “rainbow nation,” committed to non-racialism and the rule of law. But it seems Steenhuisen has taken a page from the ANC playbook—just with a twist. Instead of deploying comrades from the struggle, the DA now prefers those who struggled through podcasting.
But let’s not be too harsh. After all, Cabanac has *some* qualifications. Steenhuisen tells us he has an LLB degree, which, in today’s South Africa, is about as rare as a pothole-free road. But legal expertise? Check. Experience in managing deceased estates? Check. Ability to rile up a Twitter mob with racist undertones? Triple check.
Steenhuisen defended the appointment by calling the position “inward-facing,” which is political speak for “he doesn’t actually have to know anything about farming or agriculture.” Because who needs agricultural expertise when you can just Google how to spell “climate change is a hoax”?
This move has sparked an outcry within the DA, where the old guard is still trying to figure out how exactly a podcaster with the charm of a Twitter troll ended up in one of the highest-paid positions in government. Meanwhile, those outside the DA are just popping popcorn and watching as Steenhuisen does his best impression of playing 4D chess with 2D pieces.
For a party that has railed against cadre deployment, this is a rather spectacular own goal. But hey, when you’ve set the bar for public appointments so high, maybe you just need someone to knock it down a peg. Enter Roman Cabanac: knocking it down, one tweet at a time.
Leave a Reply