Cyril Ramaphosa, South Africa’s most patient politician, finally signed the Expropriation Bill into law. It’s been two decades in the making, with every inch of it debated, watered down, and debated again, because nothing says “urgent” quite like a 20-year wait. But the apartheid-era Expropriation Act of 1975 has officially been tossed onto the scrap heap of history, and about time too.
Naturally, the Democratic Alliance responded with all the subtlety of a chainsaw. Helen Zille probably hit send on a press release before the ink on the bill dried, accusing Ramaphosa of ruining property rights, scaring investors, and—knowing Helen—possibly adding “driving the country toward a Zimbabwean apocalypse” for dramatic effect. It’s classic DA fearmongering: cry foul over fairness and cling to a Constitution they barely supported back in the day. It’s almost cute how consistently they miss the point.
GOOD and Rise Mzansi, at least, seem to understand the moment. GOOD even pointed out the bill’s safeguards, saying it’s “not a loaded gun to chase landowners into the sea.” Which is fair, because let’s be honest—South Africa’s land reform needs less drama and more action. And yet, here we are, with the DA acting like Constantia mansions are about to be expropriated to build kombucha breweries for the masses.
But as this land debate rages on, one can’t help but think about how South Africa’s real “landowners” have operated all along. Take Markus Jooste, for example—the man who managed to pull off the ultimate heist in broad daylight. While the rest of us debate whether “nil compensation” is constitutional, Jooste expropriated billions from Steinhoff, no court approval required.
Of course, the Markus Jooste chapter ended tragically last year when he took his own life as the walls closed in. It’s a sobering reminder that even the high-flyers of white-collar crime aren’t immune to the consequences of their greed. But before that, Jooste lived as the poster child for what happens when privilege meets unchecked ambition.
The PwC report still reads like satire: Jooste fast-tracking R30 million in bonuses for himself, siphoning €500,000 to cover his taxes—yes, taxes—and attempting to secure a £50 million “loan” to fund his racehorse empire. Because nothing says “legacy of inequality” like using pension funds to buy ponies while the masses fight for land to grow cabbage.
And yet, his audacity was no accident. Jooste operated in a system built to protect people like him, where the remnants of apartheid’s economic structure continue to favor the few over the many. It’s the same system that the DA defends with gusto, as they whip out the “property rights” card to protect what remains of the spoils.
So here we are: Ramaphosa signs a bill that promises orderly, just land reform, and the DA throws a tantrum. Meanwhile, Jooste expropriated billions without parliamentary debate, a media outcry, or Helen Zille’s Twitter meltdown. If only they saved the same energy for people who truly looted South Africa. But hey, you know how it goes—the DA will always fight for your rights, as long as your surname is listed in a 1980s Deeds Office registry.
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